Why I Did Not Listen When They Said “Put Your Child in Day Care”



My family calls it being cooped up all day, and not letting my daughter be around other kids, spectators say I need to take a break and get out of the house, others say my daughter needs to be around other people than her immediate family of three. These are the voices of people who comment on my choice to be a stay at home mom. It seems as though they are turning what is supposed to be a positive decision into a negative one. Despite how annoying and sometimes hurtful some of their comments can be, I just remind myself that these comments are made by people with limited knowledge of staying at home with children because they have opted to work full-time for fear of raising sheltered, anti-social- children who suffer from separation. or because they had no choice but to work outside the home.
I choose to stay at home with my child because it is essential for me to be there to raise and care for her. I always say to myself, my social life can always be rebuilt but I can not get back the first years of my daughter’s life, so I indulge in the time I get to spend with her. The idea of day care did cross my mind, but I just could not bear to send her, because images of teacher’s neglecting her, other children, hitting and fighting her, began to fill my mind. I even thought about her getting sick from the other kids frequently and, I thought about how much our bond would loosen. All those thoughts were scary, so from there, I made a vow to myself to avoid putting my daughter in daycare. From that point on, I adjusted my life for what I see as her convenience. for our bond, and for her security, and for maybe my assurance.

My daughter used to suffer from separation anxiety, whenever I had to leave her she would throw tantrums and not let anyone console her, a relative made a snippy comment saying that she would only get worse, if I did not let her go to daycare. This angered me greatly because this relative refused to see that my daughter was throwing a tantrum for a reason and it was because she did not feel secure, and that she needed me, to help build her security. I was even told that I shouldn’t carry her around the house a lot because I would not get anything done. I did not take their advice and two years later I have an emotionally, healthy, independent, secure two year old.

I stayed home with my baby and no, I didn’t keep her locked in the house everyday, we went for walks around the block, we went to parks, and beaches, we went to the library I signed her up for parent-child playgroups where she could interact with babies her age as well as adults. I believed my daughter benefited greatly from me staying home with her, I have been able to teach her new things each day. We spend time reading books, learning numbers, colors, playing and making music and doing arts and crafts and various projects that help her learn. Despite what people have said bout “sheltered” children, my daughter is very smart, she is very vocal, her vocabulary is expansive and clear, and she has no problem at all formulating sentences. When we have to separate she does much better and I know it’s because she is secure now, she knows that mommy is not leaving her. Staying at home with her has made our stronger which has given her the confidence to interact with others. My daughter is not anti-social or reclusive she is a people -person.

I am glad I did not listen to those who told me not to stay at home with my child.I believe that it’s the bond between parents that determines a child’s emotional success, and sometimes physical success like career wise, or as far as goal setting. I don’t look down or judge parents who have to work outside of the home or parents who choose not to stay at home with their children for their own personal beliefs, I just believe that sometimes we leave our children too early, leaving little time for creating a secure bond, which in some children may cause attachment problems which then may effect social skills. Of course my beliefs are just my own, there have been reported cases of children having a strong bond with their parents despite going to daycare and I agree that once a child is secure with a strong bond with parent(s) that he/she will be able to separate without jeopardizing the parent child bond. My daughter is more secure than she was a year ago and she show signs of an eagerness to be around other children now, and to support this urge, I am going to enroll her in a toddler group, for once a week for 3 hours by herself.

Just look for the signs that your children give and follow them, they may show signs of insecurity, or even independence you just have to examnme them closesly and support them,

Every parent is different and every child and family is different, moms should do what’s best for them whether it’s to go out and work or stay at home with the kids. I just wanted it known that not all stay at home children are sheltered, reclusive, anti social. Or possess a great problem with separation of anxiety, it all depends on the way parents, raise their child.

Up next on my post: My review about dermaroller amazon and how it works wonders on my skin!

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How Do Men Fit into Today’s Modern Families?




From my vantage point on the elliptical trainer on my front porch, I could see the four-way stop to my left as well as the entire length of the block. Here, I observe the parade of curious behavior as it goes past my house. Cars routinely blow through the stop signs in any of four directions; some drivers engaged in illegal (in my state) cell phone conversations, some too important to actually come to a stop, and others just oblivious to the eight-sided, blaringly red sign with a four letter word. The house for the handicapped halfway down the block has a steady flow of its clients meandering to and from the center of town. But really the most noticeable event is the sight of men pushing baby strollers mid day, mid-week. How can they do this? What changes have come about in our society to make this possible? How do they feel about their role?
My mind tries to curl its way around this phenomenon as I exercise away. Could it be that the wife has more earning power than the man? Instead of paying someone to watch the children, the couple decides that the alternative cost of the husband staying home is less than the day care costs. An intangible benefit is that the children actually have one of their parents in charge all the time and not someone who is in it for the job. So the economic benefits are a consideration. Could another possible scenario be that the wife is much younger than the husband and has a longer earning window? This again makes more financial sense than both working. In either case, it appears that the father has taken over the job of day care. Does that mean he takes care of the housework and cooking? I remember the Michael Keaton movie (Mr. Mom) about the stay-at-home dad, but the movie was made in 1983 so the long-term impact of that is negligible. I realize that Hollywood will do anything if it thinks it might make money so I discount this influence. If these possibilities have any credibility, then I am seeing a reversal of long-practiced social mores.

Do the friends of these men have any feedback for them? I bet they do and it’s not all positive: “oh, do you wear an apron while you’re cooking?”-“how’s diaper detail?”-and “does this contribute to your 401K?” They would never miss a chance to throw out some barbed remarks and I’m not even going to talk about the possible questions regarding positions. All of this might combine to make a man feel less than adequate.

Perhaps all that feminist talk of the 70’s is catching up to us and men are starting to feel the pressure to give in to women’s demands. After all, we all know the women hold the upper hand. They are the ones who say Yes or No to the big question-What’s after dinner?

Now that I’ve taken you through this seemingly self-pitying diatribe, I should confess. I am actually on the front porch exercising because I can. I stay at home during the day, vacuum, wash clothes, fix dinner, read chapter books, and generally act as the soccer dad. I’m perfectly happy doing this and, in fact, am thriving on it. I know that my little son will benefit from this attention and it also gives me time to exercise, write, read, and keep things in order at home.

I will never say that this work is easy because it is not. I’m sometimes relieved to go to a part-time job at Kinderopvang Leiden at night and let down my guard a bit and talk with other adults. I don’t know how women were able to do such a good job at this. It’s tiring; sometimes boring, demanding, and frequently, I feel inadequate at my day job.

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Motorola Pure H12: A Comfortable Bluetooth Headset



technology-music-sound-thingsMotorola has created the CrystalTalk technology as a useful way to improve call quality on mobile phones. This wonderful technology will provide users with adaptive speaker technology and noise reduction. The Motorola Pure H12 has this special CrystalTalk technology built into it as well. Users will have a more pleasurable conversation that is free from distracting background noises. Voices will be heard clearly without any unnecessary feedback.
The Motorola Pure H12 also has an elegant design with great performance. The diamond cut design will appeal to many consumers that require style and functionality. It is a compact device that can be easily placed into your pocket, bag, or purse for grab and go situations. Another wonderful benefit of this device is its comfortable fit. It will not weigh down your ears or cause pain from long periods of use. There is a large multifunction button that will be used for adjusting volume and it is extremely easy to locate when in the middle of a call. The dedicated power toggle comes in handy when it comes to saving your battery. You will be able to conserve the power by turning the device off or on with ease.

The flexible and thin ear hook with immersive sound has a skinny design in order to make it discreet. It will not look like a bulky attachment hanging from your ear. Anyone wearing glasses will also be able to wear this device comfortably because of its slim design. The three interchangeable covers have a soft cushion for superb comfort. It will be able to effortlessly slide into your ear. Charging the Motorola Pure H12 is a simple task to complete. It automatically comes with a portable charging cradle or a desktop stand. You will be able to place the headset into the charging cradle securely because of the magnetic contacts. There will no surprised instances of a non charged headset because of improper insertion.

One of the best features of the Motorola Pure H12 is that it will automatically go into pairing mode when it is first turned on. This will give you an easier and smoother process instead of fighting with different settings. The two included microphones will successfully block out unwanted background noise and they will also adjust noise levels. Restaurant settings can be one of the noisiest environments, but with this Bluetooth headset you will have no issues hearing your callers. It does an excellent job of cleaning up background noises. The CrystalTalk technology makes the Motorola Pure H12 a wonderful device to add to your existing gadget collection. It will be the perfect accessory to any Bluetooth mobile phone.

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Would You Put a Loved One in Just Any Nursing Home?



Dear Readers,
I currently work for a Nursing Home, Rehabilitation and Assisted Living Facility in Southern New Jersey. I can honestly say I am embarrassed to tell anyone the name of the facility that I work for. There are numerous cases of Abuse, Neglect, Possible fraud, misappropriation of funds, unfair and unlawful treatment of employee’s. Our facility has been under State survey Numerous times, we have recently been closed for better than 3 months to admissions.One week ago the State finally passed us once again, but it was all smoke and mirrors, and lies to get the approval for reopening.

The owner and the corporation for our facility has had several other facilities closed, and unable to operate in certain States. He currently owns at least 5 other facilities in the State of New Jersey and has a multitude of problems with each.

Some of us employee’s have personally contacted the State and the Department of Health. Mysteriously enough part of residents files disappear,many issues get covered up, not to mention the under handed methods they use to admit patients. For example while the facility was closed to admissions, The nurses were specifically told not to send residents out to any hospitals. If the Nurse had no choice but to send a resident out to the hospital and they were not being admitted, paper work was fudged to show the resident was not gone longer than 24 hours. When a resident went to the hospital and was longer than 24 hours there the Department of Health said they have to be relocated or placed at another facility. Well, we had patients come back that should not have, just so they could keep the census above 100.

The facility I am speaking of houses residents that quite a few should not be there. They consist of sexual predators, some as high as 2nd level, child molesters, drug abusers, mentally incapacitated and Aids patients. Some of these residents are allowed to roam the halls, a few have eloped. One resident recently tried to set the building on fire.Alcohol and drugs are easily brought in and out of the building, and unfortunately given to other residents. The Certified Nurses Assistant and Nurses Aides that work the 2nd and 3rd shift have been caught having sexual intercourse in resident rooms, the Registered Nurses and Licensed Practical Nurses sell Pocket Books and other merchandise in the facility which takes the aides away from their duties.

Our loved ones are most assuredly not safe in this facility. I am sure you are saying to yourself, “if it’s that bad, why do I still work there.” Not everyone who works there is crooked, some of us do actually care about these residents. And yes some are there just because they need a job sadly, and it’s just a paycheck to them. For those of us who care and feel a responsibility to the residents, we are the eyes and ears for the State Agencies. I urge each and everyone who has a loved one going into a facility to please do as much research as you can before placing them. To the owners of these facilities it’s all about the money. Nursing homes have become a huge profit organization for these people.

You can find anything on anyone over the Internet. PLEASE, use all the resources you can. The owner of our facility needs to go to prison for the rest of his life, along with his associates and all the corporate office staff the is directly under his command. They are quite aware of his activities. Tell me how a facility Director can earn a $3300.00 bonus twice a month and never be at the facility. Just remember the money that they are collecting that is to go for the resident and patient care is buying, Condo’s, Lexus’s, Mirada’s,Nanny’s for their children and the list goes on.


I will be having a discussion about CMS and website development, with topics on DNN .net CMS for my next blog!

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Ten Characteristics of a Good Metric

We have all heard the old adage; you cannot manage what you do not measure. That is great advice, however what exactly do we mean by “measure.” It is a vague word used to define “something” we are supposed to measure in order to improve productivity. What is that something? That something is a viable metric that can be measured, reported, quantified, explained and improved upon. With that in mind we will define the 10 rudimentary characteristics which make up good measurements.

Ten Characteristics of good Measurements:
It must be quantitative in relation to an objective value. The measurement must be easily understood by conveying what is being measured and by what standards. The measurement must recognize appropriate and productive behaviors. This metric is published in relation to productive behavior while reducing short-cuts, hacks or other system work a round to improve individual productivity scores. It needs to be evident. The effects of the metric are easily apparent to all parties involved. Those who are involved in processing the metrics can easily define what it is they are trying to measure. Comprises both inputs and outputs. This metric is an integration of all components of the specific process which is being measured. Determine if a metric is relevant. Focus on key metrics which are indicators of real value to help you manage your operation. Make sure the measurement covers multiple dimensions of your operation. Ensure that the metric is balanced among utilization, productivity, and performance. Additionally, this measurement needs to display the correct tradeoffs. The measurement procedures must be economically sound. Make sure the costs of analysis and retrieval are less than the profit gained from productivity. The measurement must me clearly defined and mutually agreed upon. All key elements, both internal and external, must agree to that any particular metric being measured is viable to the operation. The measure must emphasize trust while validating the usage among the different groups involved.

Do you like this post?  If you do, please see more of my blog posts in the future for a chance of winning three Toad Diaries which I will be giving away in the next few monthhs!

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